Not that I’m interested in prosletyzing, but I keep thinking that freelancers really should either take Buddhism’s lesson on impermanence to heart, read Chuang Tzu, or the Book of Ecclesiastes. Or, for the true atheists, read Talib’s The Black Swan.

Unfortunately I don’t know the other religions well enough to recommend any other text, but I’ll bet they are out there.

While I’m reading this, I keep hearing, “Vanity of vanities; all is vanity. What profit has a man of all his labor which he takes under the sun?” And I’m not a Christian, either. Still, Ecclesiastes has a lot of good advice about dealing with success and failure.

I’m sitting here writing out notes now on my personal image of success. It’s not exactly shocking, but it certainly clears up a few things about why I’ve been feeling so down on myself lately. I’m in that “thinking about going back to the day job” phase when freelancing hasn’t been going so well, and your posts have really been helping me to think things through.

On a completely different subject – I tried to contact Dean through his website about next year’s courses (about two weeks ago), but the form kept spitting me back out and I don’t think my message sent. Is there another way to get in touch with the two of you about the classes and workshops? Thanks.

I almost ended up in the movies when I was pursuing stand up comedy, but the opportunity came in such a weird way that I didn’t recognize it for what it was until years after when I saw “There’s Something About Mary”

I turned down my current career twice before taking it. Had I taken it the first time, I would have made 100K more up front.

I can’t say that I am happier or more successful for having not taken either of those opportunites, but I am happy with my success so far. Had I taken the movie opportunity, I am sure I would have a VERY different life. Sometimes I wonder if I subconsciously missed those on purpose, though.

I think some of it was my personal risk tolerance, though. Sometimes you just need to push through and take a risk.

I think this is particularly important, because people who have the drive and ability to succeed at freelancing often could be successful in many other fields. In my quest to become a successful writer I have met other writers who were doctors or had six-figure corporate jobs or were nonfiction bestsellers or who had been successful in many other ways. Hell, I’m constantly astounded by how good you and Dean are (individually) at so many different things.

My point is that if you aren’t very certain of what you want, you could wind up pursuing the world’s idea of success rather than your own. And you might just be good enough at it that you have a hard time getting out.

So I think its a good idea to think carefully about what success would specifically look like. It can’t be something generic like money–I think most capable people could make money in many different ways. If you make that your definition you could slip off your path and not realize it, because you’re still making money. It SEEMS like your succeeding when in fact you’re drifting farther and farther from your goal.

My personal goals are things like selling a story to a major magazine or a book to New York. Anything that isn’t on the path to these outcomes is not a “success” as far as I’m concerned, however much it might seem like it to the outside world.

The harder it is for me to do something, or the longer it takes, the more successful or satisfied I feel when it’s all over and I can look back and be proud of having achieved my objective.

My marriage is something I am very proud of, and consider successful, after the better part of two decades. This is largely because my wife and I have worked — do work — so much on our marriage and our relationship. It’s been pretty rough at some junctures, but when times are good, the knowledge of having survived the rough spots — and come out more in love and stronger for them — makes me feel very good.

Same for me having made Warrant Officer — WO1 — with the Army Reserve. That was a goal which took years to achieve. Countless hours of prep, toil, worrying, setbacks, you name it. Physical, mental, emotional, spiritual, it took everything I had. But I knew it was going to be one of those lifetime goals that would resonate throughout the rest of my career in the service and into the rest of my life as well, so I refused to quit, and now that I’ve made it, it feels great.

Others don’t necessarily understand these goals, or why they’re important. But the people closest to me “get it” and it’s nice knowing they understand.

I’ve also noticed that success in one area of life tends to breed enthusiasm in other areas where I am still working towards the goal. WOCS was exhausting, but I came back fired up and ready to get to work on other items, including writing. Which is important, I think, and speaks to the necessity for us all to have more than one iron in the fire at any given point. Try to be successful at more than one thing. Try to be successful at several or many things. Wins in one area do make up for setbacks or losses in another.

Anyway, great material as always, KKR. Much obliged.

LOL, Randy! How fun is that.

Mark, can’t agree more. I love freelancing. Can’t imagine working any other way. (Well, I can, but it’s terrifying–for everyone else.)

“Dad,” I said, “Who the heck wants to watch a 24 hour cable news station? They’ll be out of business in a month.”

Yep, it was CNN.

Kris, we might have co-anchored together!

I’m particularly struck by what you said about the jobs you turned down. About a 18 months or 2 years ago one of my clients, a pretty big publisher of technical journals & other stuff offered me a job as their online managing editor. It paid $70G a year, healthcare insurance, and I could work from my home in Michigan. They’d still send me some freelance work and there was no compete clauses so I could continue to freelance as much as I wanted to. I took the job. And about 2 weeks later I apologized, indicated it was a bad fit, and got out before I could really piss them off by being entrenched in the job. Surprisingly, and thankfully, I’ve continued happily freelancing for them. When the economy tanked for me this summer (I gather I’m not alone in that :)), I felt a bit regretful about that decision, but otherwise I know I absolutely made the right decision. As a businessman friend of mine asked, “What was the disconnect for you?” And I could say, “I wasn’t a freelancer any more.” Even though it had all the freelancing fringes + more, it wasn’t freelancing, and that caused me problems. I almost immediately felt like a failure. I made the right decision.